Black Moon Lilith aspects in synastry are some of the coolest placements. Whenever Lilith is around, you can expect to feel a wild, intense, deep, and sometimes obsessive energy. If you have Lilith aspects in synastry then this energy will show up in your relationship.
Lilith by herself is extremely transformative. She is all about the shadow side.
Whenever your Lilith touches one of your partner’s planets or vice-versa, you can expect to see your deepest fears revealed. You might also see glimpses of things you desire but can’t have.
Ultimately, Lilith aspects in synastry give both partners a chance to work on their shadow sides. Lilith reveals pieces of yourself that you didn’t know existed.
Lilith aspects can be uncomfortable, but without them, we wouldn’t be able to work through our most taboo issues.
Lilith Aspects In Synastry:
Depending on what planet Lilith is touching, Lilith aspects in synastry can bring up issues relating to sexuality and sexual energy, transformation, society and expectations, obsession, freedom, and all things taboo.
When you have a strong Lilith aspect with your partner in the synastry chart, you experience a deep and magnetic attraction. It can feel dangerous or wild, but the energy is also alluring.
Because Black Moon Lilith is so sexual, you’ll definitely see a lot of Lilith aspects relating to sexuality. These aspects can be transformative for good or for bad. Lilith can also be really addictive; she has no boundaries.
Lilith is often known as the “home wrecker” (even though there is no basis for this claim in mythology) because when you meet someone with whom you share strong Lilith aspects, it’s almost impossible to stay even. It can be really destructive to meet someone with Lilith aspects when one is already in a committed relationship.
Most strong Lilith aspects create a intense sense of seduction, but the relationship can also feel erratic or unstable.
Of course, we all have choices. Many of us choose not to act on our Lilith aspects, but not everything that Lilith touches is bad. She reveals the parts of ourselves that we have hidden away due to fear.
Through Lilith, we can connect with our authentic inner being. She helps us to to break free and face our fears.
90% of the time, Lilith aspects just aren’t enough to hold a relationship together. When you’re looking at a synastry chart, you will need to look for other supportive aspects in addition to Lilith aspects.
Most Lilith aspects won’t tell you if you’re “meant to be” or if you’ll stay together forever, but these aspects will show how you can create a healthier, happier relationship, and what issues you’re working on within the relationship.
Lilith conjunct Sun synastry:
Lilith conjunct sun is a relatively strong aspect in a synastry chart. This can be a really obsessive placement for both partners but can also be a relationship that is brimming with chemistry.
This Lilith conjunct sun synastry relationship has many main themes around Lilith. There’s a certain dark, taboo vibe that is central to the relationship.
At first, this aspect creates an irresistible attraction. Over time, the relationship will either blossom under the taboo qualities of Lilith or descend into obsession and anger.
Often, the sun person represents all that the Lilith person wants but can never quite “catch.” There is an illusive vibe to this relationship. The Lilith person may feel somewhat less-than or “bad.”
The Lilith conjunct sun synastry relationship will activate all of the Lilith person’s most Lilith-like qualities. Sometimes, the Lilith person doesn’t even know that they have these qualities within themselves before they meet the sun individual.
If Lilith is celebrated and the couple chooses to embrace these differences and taboos then this can be a really transformative and positive relationship. These two will never come across as a typical couple, but if they are able to accept themselves and celebrate Lilith then they can be quite happy together.
Lilith conjunct sun in synastry is a test for the Lilith person because their most taboo qualities such as obsession and anger will be activated, but it’s also a test for the sun person.
I typically see that the sun person feels this push-pull energy towards the Lilith person; they are deeply attracted to the Lilith individual but also want to run away from the obsession and possessiveness.
The lesson is for the sun individual to stand their ground and follow their inner voice. Lilith is neither good nor bad, and the sun person can share in some of the Lilith partner’s activities without merging.
This Lilith conjunct sun synastry aspect is always transformative because it brings Lilith to light. It allows the Lilith person to learn, in real time, how to celebrate Lilith instead of descending into obsession and rage.
There is a tendency for this couple to attach too much importance to sex. They might also have a need to control or rebel against each other, although this is not always the case, especially if Lilith is transmuted by both partners.
Lilith conjunct Moon synastry:
With the Lilith conjunct moon synastry placement, the Lilith person often triggers the moon person’s emotional wounds. The moon person is attracted to the Lilith person but can quickly feel afraid or unsafe.
This placement stirs up a lot of feelings for both people. There is a deep emotional attachment, but Lilith conjunct moon can also bring out negative, hidden emotions from each partner.
Mainly, this placement is almost guaranteed to bring up issues with the mother figure. These issues typically come up for the moon individual as they “relive” their mother trauma with the Lilith individual, although the opposite is possible as well.
The moon person can feel somewhat “bewitched” by the Lilith person. This energy is very subtle and is often subconscious, but it can run the relationship before either partner is aware of what’s happening.
Regardless, there will be a lot of emotional depth in this relationship. There is the potential for the Lilith conjunct moon synastry relationship to be extremely transformative if both people are evolved enough to work through their emotions. It will bring up all of the difficult feelings that are unresolved within each person.
Lilith conjunct moon pulls all of those negative, subconscious emotions to the surface. This type of relationship is sometimes necessary to bring all emotional wounds out of the dark.
Sometimes, if there are other aspects to support it, the Lilith conjunct moon aspect can indicate emotional obsession, though this is only in the most extreme examples. More likely, the aspect indicates a lot of emotional turmoil, similar to the Tower card in Tarot.
The moon individual almost always feels uncomfortable in this relationship because of what the Lilith person represents, but this is a perfect chance for the moon individual to look at these feelings and dig into them on a personal level.
There is also a tendency for the Lilith person to bulldoze over the moon person. For this relationship to be successful, the Lilith individual will need to learn to hold back and allow the moon person time and space to deal with their emotions.
Lilith conjunct Mercury synastry:
The Lilith conjunct Mercury synastry aspect means that one person typically feels shame about how the other partner thinks or communicates. Either partner might feel shame; sometimes both do simultaneously.
Even though something about the Mercury person’s mind attracts the Lilith person, they might also find it constricting at the same time. Simultaneously, the Mercury person may feel put off by the Lilith individual’s approach to sex.
Within the context of a sexual relationship, dirty talk is quite likely to occur with the Lilith conjunct Mercury synastry aspect.
The Lilith conjunct Mercury synastry aspect creates a bit of a catch-22 in relationships. The mind is a turn-on, but one or both partners are also embarrassed by the other person’s mind at certain times. They feel an attraction to the way their partner thinks yet they also want to escape it.
This Lilith conjunct Mercury synastry aspect can also indicate difficulty communicating or mind games.
If the couple truly wants to progress and deal with their own issues surrounding Lilith (as this relationship is simply reflecting their own issues back at them) then couples therapy can be beneficial. The couple needs to learn new communication patterns before the relationship will feel completely safe.
Lilith conjunct Venus synastry:
The Lilith conjunct Venus synastry aspect is always very intense, like any other Lilith aspect. I find that it’s most applicable in romantic relationships and might not even make an impact in other relationships since Lilith conjunct Venus is inherently romantic.
There is typically a lot of physical attraction with Lilith conjunct Venus in synastry. The Venus person becomes especially attached to the Lilith person; it can be hard for the Venus person to separate from the relationship as time goes on.
There is a palpable, intense attraction that never seems to go away. If the relationship turns sour, it might be the type that drags on and on with no clear reason.
Typically, the Lilith person in the relationship tries to maintain their independence while the Venus person wants more. There is almost always an imbalance. It’s almost as if the Venus individual is under a spell.
I find that there’s often something about this relationship that is taboo or secret. For example, the partners may have a large age difference, a huge difference in class, be from different parts of the world, etc. Even if others know about the relationship, it always feels a bit unbalanced to the partners.
The initial spark is extremely strong with the Lilith conjunct Venus synastry relationship, but it can quickly turn to obsession. The Venus person gets trapped under the spell of romance and the Lilith individual may rebel against this by acting out. This likely will not dissuade the Venus individual because they are simply captivated.
The Lilith person usually enjoys the attention of the Venus person (romance, physical affection, etc.) but does not return this affection equally. The Venus person can’t stay away no matter how hard they try, even though they aren’t getting what they need. The Lilith individual may also feel that the relationship isn’t right, but can’t quite leave.
It’s not often that these relationships work out, but if other aspects in the chart support it then it is possible. Both parties need to work on clear communication and setting boundaries and expectations.
There is an air of mystery surrounding the Lilith conjunct Venus relationship that needs to be dissipated in order to truly work on the relationship.
Lilith conjunct Mars synastry:
The Lilith conjunct Mars synastry aspect means that this relationship is made up of two fighters. This isn’t always a bad thing, however. This relationship can be really passionate, fiery, and exciting.
The Lilith person might have trouble with issues surrounding desirability. Often with Lilith conjunct Mars in synastry, the Lilith individual’s self-esteem is tied up with how desirable he/she is in the eyes of the Mars partner.
If this relationship is played out sexually then both individuals experience a fiery, passionate sex life, although the Mars person might be slightly more content. The Lilith individual may feel that the sex is good but there’s some element of fire or taboo that’s simply missing.
Sometimes, the Lilith person can feel like the Mars person dominates the relationship simply because they allow them too. The Lilith person feels the unconscious need to allow the Mars person to make decisions but then may be secretly upset.
The Mars individual is probably a bit afraid of the Lilith individual in some way. I find that the Lilith person is often fiery when angry, while can scare the Mars person, but the Lilith person is instead afraid of losing the Mars individual.
Additionally, Lilith will almost always bring out anger in the Mars person that they didn’t know excited. This can scare the Mars person as they see a new side of themselves.
At it’s worst, the Lilith conjunct Mars synastry relationship has the potential for verbal abuse, explosive fights, physical violence, and general aggression. Of course, this is not always the case. Most likely, the Lilith person will end up feeling jealous or sexually frustrated which creates pent up feelings of rage.
Regardless of how the Lilith conjunct Mars synastry relationship manifests, this relationship will always be full of energy. There are usually power struggles as well, although both people can overcome this with a bit of work.
Communication is extremely important for this couple. Before things spiral out of control, it’s almost always necessary for the Lilith conjunct Mars in synastry couple to try couples’ therapy or some other intervention that will teach them skills they simply don’t have.
At it’s best, this relationship is full of healthy competition and passion.
Lilith conjunct Jupiter synastry:
When you have the Lilith conjunct Jupiter synastry aspect, Lilith is magnified. Jupiter expands anything that it touches, so there is a distinct sexual energy to the relationship, especially at first.
The Lilith person may feel the effects of this sexual magnification more than the Jupiter person because it is their own sexuality that is being expanded.
In turn, the Lilith partner challenges the Jupiter partners beliefs. Lilith conjunct Jupiter in synastry doesn’t necessarily mean that both partners believe the same things, but it is a wonderful aspect if you want to transform your beliefs.
The Jupiter partner pushes against the beliefs of the Lilith partner to expand their own knowledge and faith. This can be in any area, including spirituality, religion, philosophy, science, world-views, etc.
Even though the Jupiter conjunct Lilith synastry aspect feels very sexual at first, it’s actually all about beliefs, morals, ethics, and wisdom as time goes on. It really is an aspect relating to the mind and abstract thought. Expect there to be a lot of self-discovery in this relationship.
For example, the Jupiter individual might come into the relationship with a religious view of life. Through learning about the Lilith individual’s beliefs (let’s say they center around science, for the purpose of this example), the Jupiter person is pushed to question their own assumptions, confront their opinions of the taboos that the Lilith person presents, and develop their personal view on these topics.
This is just an example; the same situation can happen relating to any of these “bigger” topics. I recently saw this happen with a couple (who have the Lilith conjunct Jupiter synastry aspect) regarding politics.
Because Lilith is generally taboo, the Jupiter person often believes that the Lilith person’s thoughts and opinions are “bad,” at least at first. It is only through learning about the other that they come to realize they rejected these sort of beliefs simply out of fear.
The Lilith conjunct Jupiter synastry aspect is a great placement to have, if you’re up for doing self-work. It’s a super educational aspect that will bring a lot of good to the relationship and to both people individually.
Sometimes, the differences are too great and the partners have to separate, but there is still a good amount learned from the Lilith conjunct Jupiter synastry aspect.
Lilith conjunct Saturn synastry:
The Lilith conjunct Saturn synastry aspect can be dark and difficult. Saturn is all about structure and order, while Lilith is freedom and taboos.
In the beginning, there is a dark and deep sexual attraction. The relationship is not only “out of bounds,” as Lilith relationships often are, but also has quite a bit to do with karma. Both partners will feel the effects of this.
The purpose of the Lilith conjunct Saturn synastry aspect is to show the Saturn person where and how they are too rigid. This aspect will ideally teach the Saturn partner how to bend and why loosening up isn’t a bad thing.
In turn, the Saturn partner can teach the Lilith person that sometimes control is good. In the area of this conjunction, the Lilith person is fearful of their freedom being limited. This is exact with that Saturn individual will automatically do, which can cause problems, but this dynamic can also teach the Lilith individual that structure can be a good thing.
At its worst, this aspect can make for a horrific relationship experience. The Saturn person becomes more and more fearful as they are unable to get a handle on the relationship and on the Lilith partner. They might feel like their life is spinning out of control; they will do anything to get it back.
Meanwhile, the Lilith partner rebels against any and all control that the Saturn partner tries to exert. They feel this fear descending and push back against it, prompting the Saturn partner to become even more angry and afraid.
This Lilith conjunct Saturn synastry aspect is a heavy one, but it can certainly help both partners to work through necessary karma and come out stronger on the other side.
Lilith conjunct Uranus synastry:
Lilith conjunct Uranus in synastry typically means that the Lilith person unlocks a new side to the Uranus person. This is a side of themselves that they can’t show in society for some reason, but they can be themselves in this way with the Lilith individual.
Sometimes, this may mean that Lilith brings out Uranus’ inner rebel, but it can also mean that the Uranus person is allowed to show a different piece of themselves that may be soft, angry, competitive, nurturing, or any other quality, depending on the individual chart.
There is an instant attraction with the Lilith conjunct Uranus synastry aspect. The couple will literally see sparks fly. As the relationship progresses, the couple may feel that they can do anything together, but there can also be a taboo edge to the relationship because it feels so different from societal norms.
Uranus may in turn teach the Lilith person to let go of past situations that no longer further their evolution. The Lilith person has a tendency to hold onto past hurts in this area, but the Uranus person can help them to see another way.
If there are other negative aspects influencing this Lilith conjunct Uranus synastry aspect, then the relationship may turn too free. There may be some taboos around freedom and monogamy or hurt and anger surrounding the relationship.
Alternatively, the Uranus person may desire what the Lilith person offers but also be afraid of the intensity they bring.
Lilith conjunct Neptune synastry:
The Lilith conjunct Neptune synastry aspect can create a lot of illusion in a relationship. When these partners first meet, it might feel like a dream within a dream.
I find that there is often some psychic connection between the Lilith conjunct Neptune partners, but there can also be a lot of false illusion. It might be difficult for both people to see what’s real and what’s false, especially within the relationship.
There is often something slightly taboo about this relationship, but it’s more illusive than other Lilith aspects. For example, the partners may have grown up as cousins but are not technically related, or there may be an age gap that “looks” bad to others but is actually not that large.
Lilith conjunct Neptune in synastry is not a very angry aspect. Instead, the danger is that both partners will forget to live in the real world because they are so enthralled by their relationship and the feelings that they get from it.
The Lilith conjunct Neptune synastry relationship reveals all of the darkest desires. Sometimes, these will feel more like addictions. There is a danger of the partners becoming addicted to each other or to the relationship, but they can also be addicted to substances; this addiction may be fueled through the relationship in some way.
The goal with the Lilith conjunct Neptune synastry aspect is to embrace the psychic, sensitive side of the relationship while remaining grounded.
Lilith conjunct Pluto synastry:
The Lilith conjunct Pluto synastry aspect is extremely intense and karmic. This aspect is either wonderfully transformative or terribly dangerous.
There is always a strong attraction between this couple. Both the Lilith individual and the Pluto person show their dark sides in this relationship. This chemistry is both in and out of bed.
If this couple is able to learn from each other and understand this mutual energy then the relationship can be transformative for the better. It is a difficult process and won’t just come naturally.
Sometimes, power and destruction overtake the relationship and cause major problems. This relationship can easily turn angry or violent. The Lilith conjunct Pluto synastry couple may find themselves plagued by arguments and the need to release pent up rage.
One or both of the Lilith conjunct Pluto partners can become manipulative, erratic, or possessive. This can be the makings of a really nasty breakup. If this happens, it’s likely that the Pluto person will hold a grudge for a long time.
Sometimes, Lilith conjunct Pluto synastry aspects can indicate affairs. It is often the Lilith person who would have affairs, though not always. This is only the case if other aspects in the chart support it.
Lilith can learn about truth and honest from Pluto and Pluto can learn about equality and respect from Lilith. While Lilith tends to flake out when things get hard, Pluto becomes obsessive or hurt. They can each learn from each other and find a middle ground to heal.
For this Lilith conjunct Pluto synastry relationship to work, each partner needs to make a clear effort to acknowledge the needs of the other. Couples’ therapy can be very helpful to heal this relationship.
Lilith conjunct Ascendant synastry:
The Lilith conjunct ascendant synastry conjunction causes a strong, immediate attraction between both people. There is a magnetic energy between the couple from the first moment they meet.
The Lilith person in particular is attracted to the ascendant partner’s looks, body, and general physicality. They will definitely feel the sexual tension.
This Lilith conjunct ascendant synastry relationship is often very public at first. Both partners might be physical and showy around others, or they might just be in the limelight in some way. This typically dies down after some time, since the Lilith conjunct ascendant synastry aspect is strongest upon first meeting.
The relationship can also be a bit taboo at first. I often see those with the Lilith conjunct ascendant synastry aspect have difficulty introducing their partner to their family and friends. There may be something taboo about their choice or even about the relationship’s energy. Again, this dissipates over time.
The Lilith conjunct ascendant relationship often feels forbidden, even if it’s not. One or both of the partners typically feel guilty about entering into a relationship; they may still be attached to an ex partner or even a past life experience that they can’t completely let go of.
Typically, the ascendant person is both intimidated by and attracted to the Lilith partner. They might see the Lilith person as a bit dark or scary, but they’re also intrigued by the energy. It probably is different from anything the ascendant person has seen before.
The relationship is extremely primal at first. This is probably different and maybe frightening for the ascendant individual.
However, the ascendant person has a lot of the same subconscious impulses as the Lilith person, they have just not accessed them yet. This new relationship is frightening because the Lilith person pulls out a new side of the ascendant person in a very public way.
This Lilith conjunct ascendant aspect is tricky to navigate, especially in the beginning stages of relationship, but it doesn’t dictate whether or not a relationship will be successful in the long term. Shadow sides have a lot of impact on this relationship, but this can also be a great opportunity for both partners to heal themselves from the inside.
Lilith conjunct Descendant synastry:
The Lilith conjunct descendant synastry aspect means that the descendant partner is especially attracted to the dark side in the Lilith partner. They represent much of what the descendant person wants in a partner, but these qualities show up in a taboo, mysterious way.
The Lilith partner might find their most taboo qualities showing up around the descendant partner. Lilith conjunct descendent in synastry really brings out those taboo qualities within the Lilith partner. The descendent person might either like these qualities, be afraid of them, or both.
Sometimes, the Lilith conjunct descendant synastry aspect can also mean that the descendent partner has blocked their own sexuality, so they look for a partner who is more sexual to compensate. This is not always the case with the Lilith conjunct descendant aspect; it shows up about half of the time.
Lilith conjunct Midheaven synastry:
The Lilith conjunct Midheaven synastry aspect often means that there is something taboo about the relationship, especially concerning public image.
One person may desire something from the other or look up to the other when it comes to image. Typically, the Lilith person looks up to the Midheaven person, but not always.
For example, the Midheaven person may be quite wealthy or prestigious, so the Lilith person is unable to separate the individual from their own desires to obtain money or status.
Lilith conjunct Midheaven in synastry can also mean that one or both people have a deep obsession with having a certain image. The specifics of this will depend on the sign that the Lilith conjunct Midheaven sits in.
Alternatively, there may be something taboo about the public image that the couple creates together. For example, the couple could work in adult entertainment together.
Lilith conjunct IC synastry:
The Lilith conjunct IC synastry aspect means that the relationship brings out the dark side of the IC person. This isn’t necessarily bad; it’s simply the side of themselves that they felt they had to hide in childhood.
The relationship can also reveal the IC person’s raw sexuality that they didn’t feel as a child.
In general, the Lilith individual helps the IC person to access those forbidden parts of themself that they locked away in childhood. That is, of course, when this relationship is healthy and between two consenting adults.
The Lilith conjunct IC synastry aspect works well if and only if neither party is obsessive or overpowering towards the other.
If there are power imbalances in the Lilith conjunct IC synastry relationship, it can mean that one person treats the other like a child and forces them into taboo situations that they might not enjoy. At its worst, the Lilith conjunct IC synastry aspect indicates sexual abuse.
Lilith conjunct North Node synastry:
The Lilith conjunct North Node synastry aspect means that both partners recognize each other from a past life. This is a fated relationship, in a way.
As soon as it begins, this relationship can be really intense. There are many issues from the Lilith conjunct North Node synastry couple to get through, but there is potential for a lovely relationship if they’re able to effectively do the work.
This Lilith conjunct North Node synastry relationship instantly pushes both partners to grow. This can be quite unpleasant, even though it’s technically for the good of both.
The North Node person will especially have trouble and may quickly fall back into old habits, even those of past lifetimes when the couple was previously together.
This North Node individual might conceal aspects of the relationship or hide the whole relationship all-together. They are the one who is more inclined to lying and betrayal, while the Lilith individual is more likely to become obsessive and hang on no matter what.
This is because the North Node individual is being pushed by Lilith to move towards the Node, but this can be very hard to do, especially when someone like Lilith is involved. It’s easy for the North Node person to get scared and retreat.
In general, the Lilith conjunct Node Node synastry relationship is permeated by Lilith. It can be hard for both people to stick it out when they’re constantly confronted by Lilith qualities.
There is an addictive quality to this relationship. Even though both people might retreat at times, it’s difficult to completely separate.
With the Lilith conjunct North Node synastry aspect, the issue is often that neither person has effectively worked on their shadow self and healed their inner child. This is a karmic reminder from the Universe that this work must be done.
The sign and house that the Lilith conjunct North Node synastry aspect sits in will show where and how each person must work through issues relating to the shadow self.
The couple can choose to do this work together and remain in the relationship, or they may need to split apart and do this work individually if the relationship becomes too toxic.
Lilith conjunct South Node synastry:
The Lilith conjunct South Node synastry aspect reveals a past life connection with Lilith themes. The couple may have experiences sexuality, controversy, taboos, psychological distress, or other Lilith type things in a past life.
Generally, these two were either enemies in this past life or not allowed to be together. These taboo themes (of forbidden fruit or hatred) carry forward into the current lifetime with the Lilith conjunct South Node synastry aspect.
It’s very easy for both partners to fall back into old patterns with this aspect. There is a deep karmic bond between them and a lot of history, so they can trigger each other’s dark sides.
The goal with Lilith conjunct South Node is not to fall but into old patterns but to transcend them. This relationship is karmic, yet the purpose is to learn to love each other and to release the negative aspect of Lilith themes.
If the partners were enemies in a past life then that wound must be healed between them. If their relationship was forbidden or taboo, the goal is to be unapologetically themselves this time around.
The attraction with the Lilith conjunct South Node synastry aspect is often very strong and will last through time.
Lilith conjunct Chiron synastry:
With Lilith conjunct Chiron in synastry, the Lilith person will continually trigger the Chiron’s person’s wound by expressing “taboo” qualities in the sign that Lilith is in.
In some way, the Lilith person’s wild side reminds the Chiron person of their wound and how they were wounded.
The Lilith conjunct Chiron synastry aspect can be a difficult, painful placement for both people (especially the Chiron individual), but it is also an opportunity for the Chiron person to heal.
While the Lilith conjunct Chiron synastry aspect isn’t necessarily the seal of death for a relationship, it does mean that both individuals will need to put in a great deal of work to have a successful and happy partnership.
Lilith conjunct Juno synastry:
With Lilith conjunct Juno in the synastry chart, the Juno person probably finds some of the Lilith person’s traits alluring, at least in the beginning.
The Juno individual sees some of the qualities that they want in a long term relationship within the Lilith individual, however these qualities all have a slightly darker hue than the Juno person really wants.
Because of this, once the initial magnetic attraction has faded, the Lilith person can quickly become overwhelming for the Juno individual. Long term, this can grow into a larger problem.
For example, the Juno individual might want a marriage that is based on spirituality and kindness. While the Lilith person has these qualities, they might also be a bit delusional or have an addictive nature.
Ideally, the couple is able to work with these differences and find common ground. The Lilith person has much darker energy than the Juno individual (in the area of the sign and house that the Lilith conjunct Juno synastry conjunction sits in) but there may be some common ground that can hold the relationship together.
Lilith conjunct Ceres synastry:
A Lilith conjunct Ceres synastry relationship will have taboo elements around the idea of mothering. If you’re in a Lilith conjunct Ceres relationship, you may want to feel cared for or mothered, or you may instead want to feel needed as a mother would.
There may be an obsession with being cared for or caring for others that can feel intense and slightly taboo with the Lilith conjunct Ceres synastry aspect.
At its best, this aspect allows both partners to learn how to care for themselves and each other in different, more effective ways. They might realize that the way they “mothered” themselves isn’t working and that their partner can show them a better way.
At its worst, the Lilith conjunct Ceres synastry aspect means that one or both of the partners will become overly needy, reliant, codependent, or controlling.
Lilith conjunct Vesta synastry:
The Lilith conjunct Vesta synastry aspect is an anomaly. There is a feeling of pure, fated love between the couple, but there’s also something taboo about the relationship.
With Lilith conjunct Vesta, both partners are probably very devoted to each other, if the rest of the chart supports this. They might have known that they were meant for each other at a young age or as soon as they met. Alternatively, they’re both devoted to something else (such as religion, science, a hobby, an activity, a cause, etc.) and work together in their passion for it.
Although the energy between the Lilith conjunct Vesta synastry couple is pure, there is also a sense that they shouldn’t be together. Maybe their relationship is banned by society or by the church, or maybe they bonded over something taboo.
The difficulty for this Lilith conjunct Vesta synastry couple is to reconcile what they feel (pure, sacred love) with what society says about their relationship (that it is taboo or forbidden).
Sex between this couple can be incredible. There is a sort of hyper-awareness between each person. The sexual act can feel very ritualistic, important, or even spiritual with the Lilith conjunct Vesta synastry couple.
Alternatively, there is a dark side to this aspect. Lilith conjunct Vesta can also mean that one partner, usually the Lilith person, is obsessed with the idea of purity and virginity. This may be what attracts them to the Vesta person.
At its worst, this relationship can be based around a terrible power imbalance. This is not always the case; most couples fit into only one of these Lilith conjunct Vesta synastry archetypes.
Lilith conjunct Lilith synastry:
While the Lilith conjunct Lilith synastry aspect isn’t powerful enough to keep a relationship going without other aspects, it does create a strong initial attraction.
Lilith conjunct Lilith means that both people see pieces of their own Lilith in the other. It’s like looking into a mirror.
This can mean that each partner sees the positive sides to Lilith in the other, especially those that aren’t accepted in society. This can be really helpful because the relationship might become a safe place to express these qualities, since both people have them.
Alternatively, each partner may see bits of the worst of their own Lilith in the other person. These will be the qualities that they each want to run from, but they’re confronted with these “taboo” pieces of Lilith face to face in the relationship.
I find that Lilith conjunct Lilith in synastry can be really helpful if used properly. It allows both partners to grow and to face their own demons.
If both people aren’t able to make use of this and do self work within the context of the relationship then it can escalate to become a pretty nasty, difficult partnership. Each will start hating those Lilith qualities in the other and might eventually only see those qualities, especially if there aren’t other strong aspects to hold the relationship together.